This post is the first part of a four part series about creating happy homes during the holidays. The series, Happy Holidays in Happy Homes, is a collaborative effort between Angelique Felix, Jared Ritter, and myself. If you’d like more info, check out my introduction post.
What is a soulmate?
The fairy tale version of each person destined for one perfect love? One person to “complete” them like the popular quote that Angelique Felix mentioned in her post? As if one person alone can’t be enough on their own? As if once you are in a relationship the growth is done?
When I was a teenager falling in love for the first time I definitely had those notions. That one boy could make me whole and be my EVERYTHING. Fortunately, I also had a daily example of what soulmates truly are.
My parents. High school sweethearts married now for over 40 years. Two individuals who choose to spend their life together … through good times and bad, sickness and health.
I remember talking with my mom once in my teen years about love and marriage. She talked about how in a marriage it can’t just be about the physical chemistry between 2 people … it’s SO much more. They need to be willing to be life partners, to work together, grow and change together as they travel through life. But she didn’t just talk about it … she lived it. She and my dad still LIVE it.
So I was prepared when the right man walked into my life. As Jared Ritter stated in his post,
I think it’s very important to remember that all of our relationships in the past should teach us things about who we are. They teach us things about what we might lack in terms of giving, what we hunger for in terms of needing, and the balance and harmony that are byproducts of a magical union.
When I met the man who is now my husband we were able to reflect on our past relationships (our parents, our friendships, our past romances) and build from there what we wanted this one to be. Very quickly we talked about how we envisioned our lives to be, what we wanted as individuals, and how we could pursue our own dreams in support of each other. I knew quickly he could be my life partner. And to this day … 16 years after we started dating (12 years of marriage) we continue our journeys hand in hand … together.
I want to give the gift my parents gave me … the example of love … to my own 2 children. Being committed to continuously working on my relationship with my husband is an important way for us to show them what it means to be a life partner. Do we get in fights? Of course. We have bad days … even bad years, but we work through it together as a couple and a family.
Making it a priority to continue to grow and develop your own self, as well as grow and develop as couple is one of the biggest gifts you can give your children.
My true relationship is my relationship with myself – all others are simply mirrors of it. As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation from others that I desire. If I am committed to myself and to the truth, I will attract others with equal commitment. My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another. Enjoying my own company allows me to have fun with whomever I’m with. And feeling the aliveness and power of the universe flowing through me creates a life of passionate feeling and fulfillment that I share with anyone with whom I’m involved. – Shakti Gawain, Living in the Light
Allowing space for you to care for yourself and reflect on change is the only way parents can continue to give all they have everyday for their kids. Making sure you take the same time to nurture the relationship you have with your life partner is equally as important. If you don’t fill your own bucket every once in awhile, sooner or later you will have nothing left to give.
It is the basis of creating a happy home.
Be sure to check out the Angelique Felix’s post: Finding your Soulmate and Jared Ritter’s (of Solgave) post Also, check back each week for the next 3 parts of the series:
Monday 19.11.2012: Becoming a parent
Monday 26.11.2012: Creating a Family
Monday 3-12-2012: 101 ways of staying Happy
The series will be brought by you by three blogging parents:
Solgave.com is more than a blog, it’s a unique philosophy of life shared by Jared, an American now living in Sweden, and his wife Sunniva originally from Norway, and her 4 year old daughter Gabi, as they navigate the waters of life by focusing on the core elements that define them. Nature, animals, families, travel, healing, and overcoming obstacles are some of the things they share with passion.
AngeliqueFelix.com – The Magic Of Play is on a mission to bring play back in daily lives through bilingual songs, movement & creativity. Angelique teaches 0 to 6 years old in Italy, but comes from the Netherlands. She is a single mom loving passionately her only daughter Chanel every day.
AND ME, PLAYDRMOM!!!
We would be delighted to have you join us on our journey towards Christmas, please come back next week on one of our blogs!
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Laura Hutchison (aka PlayDrMom) is a chubby kid turned competitive figure skater tween turned high school pom pon girl turned MSU Spartan turned grad student turned Mrs. HutcH turned Dr. turned Mom. She adores living in the Mitten, is addicted to Diet Coke, and firmly believes that ice cream is a main food group.